Continuing our series of celebrating amazing people, we met with India who is Lead Counsellor in the Hospice’s Family Services Team to find out more about her role and what hospice care means to her.

Can you tell me about you and your background – and how you came to be at St Wilfrid’s?

I started training as a counsellor in 2017. I initially trained in Humanistic Counselling locally in Chichester, before I went to London to do additional training to work with children, families and couples. I used to work on local radio and fell in love with the charity during this time and fundraised by doing the Moonlight Walk and a Sky Dive. In 2020, while I was a student counsellor, I chose to do my voluntary placement at the Hospice due to my existing connection with St Wilfrid’s. Shortly after this, I was offered a permanent role as a Counsellor a couple of days a week. I moved into the Lead Counsellor role two years ago.

How did the transition from radio to counselling happen?

I loved working in local radio, especially the community part of it, but I felt like I needed to do more; something more fulfilling and meaningful. I was given a £100 self-development grant from my employer and decided to use this money to attend a 10-week ‘Introduction to Counselling’ course. I then went on to do further training with the support of my manager at the radio station, who could see that this was something I needed to do – and that’s how I ended up being a counsellor and working at St Wilfrid’s.

Can you give me an idea of a typical day/week as Lead Counsellor?

I work part time and am predominantly based at the Hospice, on the Ward and in the Living Well Centre – but I go to people’s homes in the community as well. The Family Services Team is quite small. There’s me and Kate who are employed counsellors; we have a full-time social worker and a part-time chaplain. We also have the support of wonderful volunteers including qualified counsellors, students and other experienced professionals who make up our team. Because we’re small, we have to utilise resources as best as possible, hence why I tend to be at the Hospice. Here I attend team meetings, working closely with our management, clinical experts and other agencies. I supervise the team and triage/assess the referrals we get, but my primary focus is on my own patients.

I meet with patients, their families, friends and carers, both pre- and post-bereavement. This is what I love. I enjoy being with people. It’s all about relationships and the connection. When you meet someone and connect with them, and see that they feel known, heard and understood and that they can trust you – that’s what I get the most from my role. It’s what I was searching for when I changed direction in my career. People can share how they feel with me and know that they are in a safe space and are seen as individuals and not just patients.

Is it patient choice to meet with you and the Family Services Team?

Yes, absolutely. Any patient we care for is offered support by the Family Services Team, as are their loved ones, and they need to consent to being referred to us. Our chaplain, Julie, is based on the Ward so visits everyone there in person. She offers spiritual and emotional support to patients and their loved ones during their stay, and can also refer people on for further support if needed. Some people may be skeptical of counselling and not see the benefit, but it’s always there for them if they change their mind.

What are the types of things that you help people with?

Generally, people don’t tend to talk about death, and this can lead to insecurities, uncertainty and anxiety, which are some of the common emotions that we help with. People can feel frightened, they’re often grieving and can feel like they’ve lost their sense of purpose, their self-worth. Someone facing end of life or loss can also have relationship struggles – and we’ll meet with them on a 1:1 basis or sometimes as a couple. Some may feel anger and frustration about what’s happening to them, which is very normal. We are there to listen and understand, to meet them as an individual – and share supporting guidance if they want us to.

I work with people at many different points in their life, whether newly diagnosed or perhaps later in a bereavement. Wherever someone is, I will journey with them through their experiences, treatments, deterioration and bereavement. That’s quite something and can be intense at times.

How do you cope with the emotion involved in such a role?

Part of the way I cope is by acknowledging that it’s ok to feel emotional when someone dies or when someone shares their suffering with me. It’s sad because people and their lives matter to me, but it’s beautiful to connect with and support patients and their loved ones. I remember everyone that I’ve met and worked with.

The other way I cope is by making sure I have time when I’m not a counsellor. I put boundaries in place so that I can just be India – watching TV, travelling with my partner, being with my cats and family, listening to music, sea swimming with friends and horse riding. This all helps me to cope and remain grounded. We also have great supervision and a supportive team here that understands this is part of the work we do. We have a great bond. We share how we feel and support each other through our individual cases. Having this time together is fundamentally important for all of us. And even after an emotionally heavy day, I couldn’t imagine doing anything else.